Trauma is any event that overwhelms our ability to tolerate and process what is happening. Whether physically or emotionally, consciously or unconsciously, we feel unsafe and our nervous system kicks into fight or flight. When asked what trauma is, most people refer to larger-scale events like assaults, abuse, or accidents.

We call that Big “T” trauma.

But sometimes trauma is more subtle. These events are often about absences rather than a big, scary presence of danger. For instance, having a parent emotionally or physically unavailable due to work, emotional distancing, or mental illness. For some, it’s never hearing in childhood that you are good enough just as you are.

We call that little “t” trauma.

WHO HAS TRAUMA?

​Many of the people I work with would not initially define themselves as trauma survivors. As humans, our neocortex is built to compare and contrast. Because of this, many people find themselves thinking: “What happened to me wasn’t great, but it’s not as bad as what happened to so and so…”

But the ancient part of the brain (aka the reptilian brain) and our nervous system do not care about how bad someone else had it. Our brainstem is built to register threat and respond accordingly with fight, flight, or freeze response. It knows when we feel unsafe, even when our prefrontal cortex thinks it should be “no big deal.”
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Ultimately, the only person who can say for sure if what you experienced was a trauma is you. But sometimes we need help assessing the impact of an event in our lives.

It is helpful to stop and consider:

How did what happened feel at the time?

How might it still be affecting me in the here and now?

WHAT HEALS TRAUMA?

Trauma is simply unprocessed painful life experience. So to heal trauma, we need to process now what wasn’t processed then.

There are three primary approaches I take when helping clients address past trauma:

1). Relational - As your therapist, I function not as a blank slate, but as a real person in a living relationship with you. Using this relationship, we can work through trauma-created relational patterns that repeat outside the therapy room.

2). Historical - Trauma comes from the past, so to address it, we discuss the past as it relates to the present. Often, we are repeating aspects of our histories in the present without realizing it. By unpacking and processing your history, you can free yourself in the present.

3). Parts-Based - We all have many parts inside: a perfectionist, an inner critic, an unhealed inner child. I utilize the Internal Family Systems model to work with your various parts in order to bring harmony and healing to your whole system.

To learn more about how Internal Family Systems Therapy works:

Los Angeles Times Article on IFS